You must re-invent your life after cancer “I live with cancer 24 hours a day. I can never get away from it.” I’ll never forget her words – the young mother, wife, friend and patient who suffered with breast cancer that eventually took her life. I cared for her about 10 years ago. As I tried over and over to write this final column about my journey with breast cancer from diagnosis to recovery, I couldn’t put pen to paper. I kept wondering why was this last essay eluding me? After all I finished with chemotherapy and radiation, my scars healed, the poking and prodding were now intermittent. So why couldn’t I just write it? Finally I know the answer. I’m not living with my cancer 24 hours a day anymore. Other people, places and occasions fill my life. I feel free. I am free from the side effects of treatment, free from the calendar of medical appointments, free from thinking about cancer all the time. But, I didn’t want to walk away from this experience to never think about all I learned, nor did I want ‘cancer survivor’ to be only description that defined me. I needed to find a balance in my life. I needed to reinvent myself as a combination of pre and post breast cancer. The melding of the old and new started with the radiation treatments. I was homebound from my initial diagnosis (Almost a year ago and I still can’t believe it’s been that long.) through my mastectomy and chemotherapy that ended in mid-July. In August, when my radiation oncologist, Dr. Christopher Koprowski of Christiana Care’s Helen F. Graham Cancer Center in Newark, prescribed my plan of care of five days a week for 28 treatments, I knew I had to travel the hour drive to and from Newark by myself. Radiation treatments lasted about five minutes each time; then I was back in the car. I savored every second of the highway rolling below me. My radio blasted classic rock and roll. The wind would have blown through my hair – if I had any hair. I sang as loud as I could and I can’t carry a tune. I was fortunate I didn’t suffer any nasty side effects from radiation. I had some fatigue, but nothing I couldn’t live with. My chest-wall skin did experience uncomfortable sunburn-like sensation and appearance, then the skin sloughed off. There was no swelling. According to Christiana Care’s “A Guide to Radiation Therapy,” “Radiation therapy uses radiation to kill cancer cells. Used by itself or with cancer fighting medications or surgery, radiation is one of the most effective cancer treatments available. Radiation may be used to shrink a tumor before surgery so it can be removed more easily, or after surgery to destroy remaining cancer cells.” At the end of my course of radiation, Dr. Koprowski, in his bright and encouraging style, told me that I did great through this portion of my treatment and I didn’t need to see him anymore. Ah freedom. I’ve seen my oncologists, Dr. Generosa Grana and Dr. Robert Somer of Cooper University Hospital’s Cancer Institute of New Jersey, twice since my cancer treatments ended. After evaluating my blood work and the palpation of my left chest wall and right breast, they are pleased with my recovery. Because I was diagnosed as estrogen receptor positive, I currently take an antiestrogen medication and in two months I will switch to an aromatase inhibitor. According to information from AstraZeneca Pharmaceuticals, an antiestrogen is used to “block the effects of estrogen or to reduce estrogen levels” and an aromatase inhibitor “prevents the enzyme aromatase from producing estrogen.” All I know is these medications lessen the chance of cancer recurrence. At my last visit, Dr. Somer said I didn’t need to see my oncologists for six months. Ah, sweet liberty. Finally, I am back to work as a physical therapist assistant. There is such pleasure in applying my clinical skills with to help patients. I love my job. My experience with cancer made me a better listener. I haven’t forgotten my commitment to others who are traveling the same frightening medical path as me. I am the captain of two teams participating in the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life on June 16 and 17 at Milford Middle School in Milford. One team, The Out of Towners, is made up of my friends and family from all parts of the east coast and the other team, The Neighbors, is comprised of my new friends in our neighborhood. We plan to raise money between now and June with all kinds of fun fund raising events. My specialty is the Ribbon Cap Club — ribbon caps are for sale with all proceeds benefiting the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life. According to the society, “Every dollar raised goes toward fighting cancer. Contributions to Relay for Life help the American Cancer Society fight cancer in four main ways: research, education, advocacy and patient services. American Cancer Society funds more than $100 million of cancer research a year.” So there you have it. Cancer has been one of the most terrifying experiences of my life and the most enriching and rewarding. I hope I’m a better person for having endured this challenge. As Dr. Grana said to me when I saw her in October – now the trick is to go live your life beyond cancer. For more information about the Ribbon Cap Club and purchasing a cap, contact
Cynthia Canevari at cac@canevari.com or 422-7878. |